The Black Tie, the Condolence and a car called Alimony

In a car combat game, the car is the character you spend the most time looking at. So every car in Rally Mortis is a portrait of its owner, painted in steel, and most of them are unflattering.

The Black Tie

Wade’s car is the Vane family’s black sedan: long, square, discreet, built in an age when a bonnet was something you could land a light aircraft on. It was designed to carry very rich people slowly to places where they would be unkind to waiters. It is about to be asked to do something else.

We call it the Black Tie because it is the car you wear to a funeral. Its handling is heavy and honest: it does not want to turn, and when it does, it means it. We will go into the handling properly in a later entry, because it took us three goes.

The Condolence

Prudence Vane-Holloway, the eldest daughter, has been in mourning since 1958, and she drives accordingly. Her car is a hearse with wreaths on the roof, and it is the fastest thing on the promenade.

Pencil sketch of a hearse on a ruled notebook page, with the note: a hearse, but fast — The first sketch of the project, again. The note in the corner says chrome equals grief, because grief is shiny.

The Condolence: a long black hearse with wreaths on the roof — The Condolence, finished. Wreaths on the roof, curtains at the back and a front end designed to make an impression.

The rest of the family garage

Each rival heir gets a car with a name, a temper and a way of hitting you that you will learn to recognise in the mirror:

Inner Peace, the stepson’s car, which would like you to let go. Especially of the brakes.
The Balance Sheet, the family accountant’s, which counts every dent twice.
The Edger, the gardener’s, which has been trimming the same lawn for fifty years and is not about to stop for you.
The Flambé, the cook’s, which is exactly as safe as it sounds.
The Exclusive, the cousin’s. He owns forty channels of cable television, and all of them are him.
Alimony, the third ex-wife’s. She will want it in writing.

And one more

There is also a battered red muscle car with a blower through the bonnet and spikes on the front, which started as a joke in a meeting and refused to leave. We are not telling you whose it is yet.

Blue construction pencil drawing of a spiked muscle car, with notes about the spikes — Construction drawing for the spiked car. Margin notes: “spikes: bigger? (yes)” and, on the blower through the bonnet, “insurance: no”.

Next: how the Black Tie actually drives, and why we took the steering apart three times.